I am having an 'ugly' day today...I hate that, but what can a girl do? I will be 51 Wednesday the 28th...and time marches on, right across your face.
Yesterday as I was walking my dog I ran into a ‘fracquaintance’ ----this is defined as ‘friend’ you are not terribly close to, but you’re better acquainted with than, say, your dental hygienist--- She caught up with me and we walked together for a ways. All was lovely until almost the very end where, just before we parted company, she told me that initially she had mistaken me for another lady we both know (actually, another fracquaintance) apparently upon first glance she thought I was--- and here we will pick a random name out of a hat for anonymity purposes---‘Tilly’. But then, whew! She knew I was NOT ‘Tilly’ because ‘Tilly’ doesn’t... have a little dog!
Really? In my wildest dreams I NEVER thought I would be mistaken for ‘Tilly’---who is perfectly nice---but it has confirmed the fact that I have now attained that ‘matronly' look that I have so long sought after.
First of all; ‘Tilly’ is 10 years older than me and has happily let herself go gray. I just spent WAY too much money on my getting my roots done, highlights and a ‘styling’ as a present to myself for my birthday! Also, I thought I was far less round than ‘Tilly’. I mean, I know I am not svelte, I might not be even merely plump, but having lost around 30 pounds in the last while, I apparently have deluded my mind into a false self-image.
Last year, when I hit the big five-oh, I took it hard. Some of you may remember my melt down from receiving my first AARP letter. I think they sedated me, it was all a blur. But then one of my sweet friends---Thank you James---helped me get a better perspective. He cajoled me through it, made me laugh, and said “We are faaaabulous Dahling!” It worked! So it never occurred to me that fifty-one would be any kind of a bother. But thanks to my fracquaintance, every time I look in the mirror now, all I see is ‘TILLY’…
I had actually come to believe that I was one of those who are choosing to age ‘gracefully’. By that I mean that my funds do not go beyond affording anything more than smearing some sort of Oil of Olay type product on myself morning and night. Or as my dad calls it “Oil of Old Leg”….Well, Frack That! I am changing my hair style or something!!! Maybe I’ll save up for that dowager’s hump removal I’ve had my eye on.
Is this what happens to those middle-aged bald guys who would sell a kidney for a corvette? Oh the bitter irony! How many times have I seen them in their shiny convertibles with their equally shiny heads and shouted; “Mid-life crisis!” or “Man-o-pause!” then merrily went on my way? But, never again shiny bald man! Because somebody was your ‘Tilly’ too, weren’t they? At some point every one of you wanted to weep openly and say, ‘George’? You mistook me for ‘George’?
I remember a quote from the movie ‘Fried Green Tomatoes’ when Evelyn Couch says, “I’m too young to be old, and I’m too old to be young.” You and me both honey. I suppose once I get past this stage I can relax. Right? Right older people? Oh Lord, do NOT tell me that it gets pointed out at the senior-center that you have more liver spots than your fracquaintance in the knitting club, or that you used to be better looking before you got your dentures and, for heaven’s sake, stop making them clack together while you eat!
Oh, okay, I see the hand writing on the wall. I now understand why I’ve experienced random senior citizens that I do not know announcing to me, in the frozen foods section, that they can touch their toes and walk five miles, and then whisper coyly that they are often mistaken for their own daughters. Vanity, thy name is human frailty, unless, of course, it is Tilly….or George.
Tonya Willman ©2011
Yesterday as I was walking my dog I ran into a ‘fracquaintance’ ----this is defined as ‘friend’ you are not terribly close to, but you’re better acquainted with than, say, your dental hygienist--- She caught up with me and we walked together for a ways. All was lovely until almost the very end where, just before we parted company, she told me that initially she had mistaken me for another lady we both know (actually, another fracquaintance) apparently upon first glance she thought I was--- and here we will pick a random name out of a hat for anonymity purposes---‘Tilly’. But then, whew! She knew I was NOT ‘Tilly’ because ‘Tilly’ doesn’t... have a little dog!
Really? In my wildest dreams I NEVER thought I would be mistaken for ‘Tilly’---who is perfectly nice---but it has confirmed the fact that I have now attained that ‘matronly' look that I have so long sought after.
First of all; ‘Tilly’ is 10 years older than me and has happily let herself go gray. I just spent WAY too much money on my getting my roots done, highlights and a ‘styling’ as a present to myself for my birthday! Also, I thought I was far less round than ‘Tilly’. I mean, I know I am not svelte, I might not be even merely plump, but having lost around 30 pounds in the last while, I apparently have deluded my mind into a false self-image.
Last year, when I hit the big five-oh, I took it hard. Some of you may remember my melt down from receiving my first AARP letter. I think they sedated me, it was all a blur. But then one of my sweet friends---Thank you James---helped me get a better perspective. He cajoled me through it, made me laugh, and said “We are faaaabulous Dahling!” It worked! So it never occurred to me that fifty-one would be any kind of a bother. But thanks to my fracquaintance, every time I look in the mirror now, all I see is ‘TILLY’…
I had actually come to believe that I was one of those who are choosing to age ‘gracefully’. By that I mean that my funds do not go beyond affording anything more than smearing some sort of Oil of Olay type product on myself morning and night. Or as my dad calls it “Oil of Old Leg”….Well, Frack That! I am changing my hair style or something!!! Maybe I’ll save up for that dowager’s hump removal I’ve had my eye on.
Is this what happens to those middle-aged bald guys who would sell a kidney for a corvette? Oh the bitter irony! How many times have I seen them in their shiny convertibles with their equally shiny heads and shouted; “Mid-life crisis!” or “Man-o-pause!” then merrily went on my way? But, never again shiny bald man! Because somebody was your ‘Tilly’ too, weren’t they? At some point every one of you wanted to weep openly and say, ‘George’? You mistook me for ‘George’?
I remember a quote from the movie ‘Fried Green Tomatoes’ when Evelyn Couch says, “I’m too young to be old, and I’m too old to be young.” You and me both honey. I suppose once I get past this stage I can relax. Right? Right older people? Oh Lord, do NOT tell me that it gets pointed out at the senior-center that you have more liver spots than your fracquaintance in the knitting club, or that you used to be better looking before you got your dentures and, for heaven’s sake, stop making them clack together while you eat!
Oh, okay, I see the hand writing on the wall. I now understand why I’ve experienced random senior citizens that I do not know announcing to me, in the frozen foods section, that they can touch their toes and walk five miles, and then whisper coyly that they are often mistaken for their own daughters. Vanity, thy name is human frailty, unless, of course, it is Tilly….or George.
Tonya Willman ©2011
Honey.....She just didn't have her glasses on. You still look the same as you did when you were 14.
ReplyDeleteKimmy, that was the best birthday present ever!!! LOL! U beez crazy AND sweet!!!! ~T~
ReplyDelete