I would like to apply for a grant. This
grant would be to study Mean People. Namely it would determine;
A.) Do all Mean People realize that they are,
in fact, mean people?
B.) Why are
some Mean People selective in their horrible rottenness, only to certain
individuals, and then present themselves as kind, even virtuous to the rest of
society?
C.) What
percentage of habitually-Mean People truly enjoy being jerks through and
through? Are there any that secretly really do hate this behavior but just cannot
seem to stop their wretchedness? And,
D.) is there
now, or has there ever been a 12-step program for the Habitually-Mean: “Hi. I’m
Ralph and I’m a vicious JERK…” “Hiii Raaaalph.”
Mean People are taking over. They are everywhere; you can even get the occasionally snippy phone-tree. “Press 2 if you were not listening while being informed that our menu options have changed, press 3 if you only have enough I.Q. points to press the rest of our options at random. Press 10 if you can actually recognize the numerals ‘1’ and ‘0’.” *followed, of course, by a condescendingly patient cyber sigh…
At least a few years ago the Pakistani-type tech support people were overwhelming polite, though no help whatsoever. Now they are starting to get a bit churlish, “No! No Ma’am, I om sa-ying to YOU that you cannot pdess F10 and sy-stem reeestore at de same time without…what? No! Don’t dooo that!…. I toll you….But NO! I toll YOU that it does not mattah that your co-sin Cleatus say to you this will resolve de izzue! This is bad! And will lead to veddy, veddy bad things…YOU listen to me!” (I am pretty much serious here, in that I experienced a similar conversation *names have been changed)
These poor foreign-techies used to be profusely apologetic. Finally, after three hours of trying to grasp the instructions, I would burst into tears telling them I could not comprehend a single word they were saying, and I was so sorry, BUT I could not bear one more moment...And then I would beg to speak to somebody I could understand…
”We
are be-ing so veddy sorry Ma’am, we are having no Amehd-icans availaboll at tiss
time…”Mean People are taking over. They are everywhere; you can even get the occasionally snippy phone-tree. “Press 2 if you were not listening while being informed that our menu options have changed, press 3 if you only have enough I.Q. points to press the rest of our options at random. Press 10 if you can actually recognize the numerals ‘1’ and ‘0’.” *followed, of course, by a condescendingly patient cyber sigh…
At least a few years ago the Pakistani-type tech support people were overwhelming polite, though no help whatsoever. Now they are starting to get a bit churlish, “No! No Ma’am, I om sa-ying to YOU that you cannot pdess F10 and sy-stem reeestore at de same time without…what? No! Don’t dooo that!…. I toll you….But NO! I toll YOU that it does not mattah that your co-sin Cleatus say to you this will resolve de izzue! This is bad! And will lead to veddy, veddy bad things…YOU listen to me!” (I am pretty much serious here, in that I experienced a similar conversation *names have been changed)
These poor foreign-techies used to be profusely apologetic. Finally, after three hours of trying to grasp the instructions, I would burst into tears telling them I could not comprehend a single word they were saying, and I was so sorry, BUT I could not bear one more moment...And then I would beg to speak to somebody I could understand…
But now---times they are a-changin’---not only do I NOT understand them, I do understand that they are irritated with ME…and they don’t care either! This is possibly from having to listen to one rude, ugly American after another berating them and treating them like foreign-call-center-goobers, just because these very ugly Americans somehow think it is their God-given-American-right to harangue anyone who; “Don’t speak good English, and like whatever…”
Meanness seems to be hyped and glorified in almost every aspect of our society today; from hideous reality television shows and gratuitous and vacuous movies, mainstream news that has gone tabloid, and to probably at least 50% of the ‘pithy’ sayings and photos that float down ones newsfeed on Facebook.
Recently I got the opportunity to hear a wonderful young pastor speaking. He preached on the great, great love of God. He said that love always wins! And not squishy emotional love either, but the kind that Jesus showed when, as the God of the universe, he humbled himself to stoop and wash his own disciples feet at the last supper before He ultimately fulfilled His reason for coming to earth; living, ministering, teaching, loving, healing and finally dying for each one of us on a cross.
And His command, after He had washed His disciples feet was that we, His followers, go out and show that same love and humility to one another and to the world.
If ‘meanness’ is the disease; then this kind of real love is the cure. Kind and humble love always wins! It can melt all but the cruelest of hearts. I forget that sometimes, okay I can forget it a lot… I get hurt or offended and I want to be mean right back. But, if by God’s power, we can stop and take a moment to let love have a chance, it can disarm and profoundly change people and circumstances.
So If I got that grant, apart from being a flagrant waster of tax-payer monies, I would only come to the obvious conclusion that everyone can be mean, and sometimes viciously mean, myself included. Even though I really believe that most people are not habitual-meanness-offenders. But I would also find that many a mean and nasty heart has been softened and reborn through the divine love of the God of the Universe…who is not afraid to love so big that He stooped to wash feet, and expects us to do the same. Tonya Willman © 2012
Do mean eyes hide something more?...
I have sensed this nice/mean reversal twice recently and was surpised by it (both customer service reps). It does give birth to the "right back atcha" mean. I usually know when I feel mean for no other reason than feeling mean - did not sleep well, have family issues, etc. Those are the days I usually slink off to less occupied areas of the house not wishing my vile mood on anyone else (or do I)? One word can change my mood, one look of contempt, etc. or one act of kindness, a hug, it is all easily correctible. Love ya, T.
ReplyDeleteThis brings a favorite scripture to mind, Tonya: A soft answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger. Proverbs 15:1
DeleteIs it "mean" of me to giggle at your "No. I toll you" etc.?
Glad to see you writing again. I have missed you! Thank you for your recent message on my blog.
Hugs for you, Renee'
I have to admit to being a meanie in my life...after about 5 years of therapy I realized it was based in fear as was much of my negativity...I'm still very opinionated, don't like bs and will mow you down if you hurt someone I care about, but over all I'm a much nicer person these days because I'm a much happier person!
ReplyDeleteOh my goodness, Tonya, I have been roaring laughing! So call me mean! My sister and I complain about those conversations with techy-type people who are no help, too. Anyway, thanks, that was very enjoyable. I will try not to be so mean myself, at least for a while. ;) Love, Tess
ReplyDelete