For My Mother

     My Momma told me it is time to write a new blog. She says I have left the old one on here long enough and she is bored with the ads. She is my biggest fan. She clicks on all of the ads to make me a smidgen of money. But in the process she has actually explored some good sites and found some really interesting things. I, myself, am not allowed to click on my own ads. This is true. Google gets very testy if you do that as a blogger and will take away all of your pennies.
    At this stage in my life I try to do what my Momma says. I tried hard as a child, but would often forget what she asked me to do approximately 2.5 seconds after she asked…..At first she just thought I was being disobedient. But I remember the day (here, I was about eight or nine) when I could see a sort of comprehension steal over her face. She looked at me with a mixture of wonder and pity and said, “You really do completely forget. You really aren’t trying to disobey me….” And she was right. I have always had the memory of a gnat, which I made even worse in the 70’s, if you are receiving my drift.
    Now, speaking of the 70’s; I did turn into a rotten teenager. I wasn’t so much openly rebellious as I was a sneaky little (bad word). My sister was a child of the 60’s, openly a hellion; she drove my mother to the brink. I watched where it got her: in to ever so much trouble. I decided; that was not the way of the Tonya. No, the way of the Tonya was stealthy, tricksey, sly and slippery, much like a bad Ninja only much clumsier. My poor Momma. If it burned, I smoked it. If it was liquid, I drank it. (Well for the most part; I did avoid rope and Draino). And I lied like a dog. I would lie just for practice. It was sort of my only sport, as I was not an athletic child. If it suited my purpose and kept my parents in the dark…then I fibbed.
     My point in this is not to share my misspent youth, but to tell you about my amazing Mother. She is the loveliest thing. I wish I could take back all the youthful shenanigans I inflicted upon her. If I could take back every gray hair I gave her over my ridiculousness she would be, well salt & pepper actually, because my sister was an equal stress-producer for our Mother as well. (Disclaimer; Sorry Sissy but you were…..sometimes my sister reads my blog…)  
    My Momma loves with the heart of God. She loves openly and forthrightly. She doesn’t judge us, and if she does, then she keeps it silently to herself and does not criticize. Her advice is 99% spot-on. Sorry Mommacita, but every now and then that 1% does show up. Remember when you thought it would be a good idea for me to join that organization (which will remain nameless) even though you, yourself would not join a group with actual people in it, of any kind, even if they offered you large sums of money? Remember how I quit after two mind-numbingly agonizing meetings? Remember how you thought it was funny that they kept calling for over a month asking me why I quit? Right there….boom! There’s your 1%.
     Mommy, we have both noticed that whatever I write about in my posts determines the ads, right? So I thought I would put some interesting words in here, in hopes that you have some much more fascinating ‘clicks’.  Here it goes: Leprechauns, Whales, Antiques, England, The Louver, The Aegean Sea, The Holy Lands, Faeries, Tom Jones, George Clooney, Diamonds and Rubies, Jerusalem, Maxfield Parrish Skies, Willa Cather, Fire Flies, Beautiful Parks, Pumpkin Cheesecakes and Elephants.
     I wish this was a better tribute to you Mom. I wish I could write better about every little beautiful thing you do. I wish I could write about all the time you actually spend on your knees in prayer for us, and how you see the achingly beautiful things in this world, and how, without being one bit suicidal, how you long for the next one. I wish I could explain better about how, no matter what happened in my childhood, I always felt safe if you were there. I wish I could really describe how you get so tickled when you see people fall down. And, how you can’t help it, but it makes you laugh until you cry. And, how your granddaughters do the same thing.
     Thank you, Momma. Thank you for all the sleepless nights you spent over me, and all the hard work. Thank you for all your generosity; both materially and of spirit. You bless me every day, and I realized that I had a forum where I could say so. So I am. I pray God’s blessings on you. I pray health to your bones and joy for your spirit. I pray goldenly happy days for you with no loneliness. I pray that you really know, deep down how loved you are. And, I pray that you get some new killer-good ads on here to click on!!!  

Tonya Willman ©2010