Go Giants!

     I wish I loved sports like some other women do. I would love to get so excited that I feared I would wet myself over a touch down or a home run. I would love to feel faint about a stolen base or swoon over a field goal. Genetically it has been bred from my body. I went to all my daughter’s sporting events. She played everything except football and soccer. Genetically, her dad gave her a love for and a gift in, this area that she carries to this day.
     When she was playing baseball I made sure that I never yelled the wrong thing, such as; “Way to punt, instead of way to bunt!!!” I felt safest yelling everything the other mom’s yelled. One thing they always yelled in baseball was “Good Eye!--Good Eye!”, as though one were enough, but what did I know? So I would yell that for everything! If she was headed to the snack bar afterwards you could hear me shouting this odd encouragement as she ordered her hot dog.
     Oh, I know what you are thinking. I was a terrible athlete in school. I was the last picked for any team. When I had to play baseball, they would put me out in deep-roving right field. Oh Yeah? Well, it just so happens you may be correct. All right you actually are! I also think that dodge ball was invented by sadistic coaches that were themselves, bullies as children. Do you think for one minute that the athletically challenged are not the first to be hunted in this game? Most of them find it easier to just curl up like a boiled shrimp and get it over with. Though I am not suggesting for one moment that I ever did that….
    Anyway, Where was I??? Oh yes; the love of sports, as a spectator. To me it is like the love of dumping out a jar of marbles on the floor and watching them scatter, except with cheerleaders, and high-fives, and athletic adjustments, and coaches racing back and forth like mad men, screaming unintelligible insults, or possibly encouragements to their own team. I do not know.
     And do not get me started on golf! Why do the announcers whisper? Are they just that bored too? Why do the people get so excited over this itty-bitty ball? They urge it, yell at it, encourage it and practically tear out there hair when it misbehaves. How come they don’t get that upset with the golfers themselves? All though I do approve of the little golf carts, sweet!
      I would love to see them used in, say, baseball or football. That would be great. However then I believe you are getting into bumper car territory, which I performed poorly in as well. I always got myself wedged into a corner as others bumped and sideswiped me. Not unlike dodge ball now that I think of it.
      I understand they have live alligators down in the water hazards in Florida. Now that is interesting! I mean it’s a whole new ball game! If they could promise anacondas in the sand traps, and bobcats in the rough, then I would get out the popcorn!
   Everyone I know right now is in a fevered pitch over the Giants. I want to be, I really do. My best friend and her daughter are watching the games as though world peace depended on them. Maybe it does somehow, and nobody has told me….
     My own sister loves football, not just loves, she adores it. She makes all the foods for the Super Bowl. She and her hubby and anyone else there scream and yell and sometimes even pace, in between enjoying the vast quantities of food. I am always invited. I would actually go for the food, but I just can’t handle the rest. When somebody yells; “DID YOU SEE THAT? DID YOU SEE THAT? DID YOU (BAD WORD) SEE WHAT HE JUST DID???” I have nothing to answer this with….Nope, nothing.
     Oh, I could stomp around clutching my head but I wouldn’t mean it. No, it would be a hollow sham. And I would be found out, oh yes, they always find out. Then they would laugh until they drooled and the beer shot out of their noses, and I’d suddenly flash back to Phys. Ed. Waiting to be picked for a team. And once again racing back and forth like a penny arcade shooting target to keep from getting pummeled with big red-rubber balls.
    I watched my grandson being born and I saw my children graduate, I went to Foreigner and Eric Clapton Concerts. As a Christian, I went to a Joyce Meyer conference. Oh sure, we all got excited. We did hoot and holler on all the above mentioned occasions. But that fevered pitch that people get themselves worked up into so that they can perform the ‘wave’ in perfect coordination with absolutely no practice only comes from the fanaticism of the sports fan…..Go Giants!!!!!