WELCOME TO 4 AND 20 SPARROWS! IT IS A BIT OF BLOGGING GOODNESS JUST FOR YOU...FILLED WITH THE RIDICULOUSNESS OF LIFE, MY RANDOM MUSINGS AND THE KNOWLEDGE THAT GOD IS ALWAYS GOOD! COME IN AND ENJOY!

Friday, December 30, 2011

HAPPY NEW YEAR FROM THE SQUARE-9 ZONE.



Hi, okay so it’s 7:00 pm…..I have been teaching my hubby a card game called square-9. It was fun but we seemingly went into some sort of Square-9 time warp!!! I mean it was weird. I guess I thought I was a better teacher than I am, because it began to feel as if we were sitting  here for approximately three days.
 When we started the game, after supper, it was daylight. As the time warp went on and the hard chair numbed my behind—and my brain--- somehow I thought time had just mysteriously flown by; so without looking at the clock I went in and took my Ambien at, oh… around 5:45-6:00 p.m. As I sit here now I realize the ‘error of my mistake’.
  I am sleepy at 7:00 p.m. yet not truly tired enough to do anything about it except be as loopy as an outhouse rat….My brain fights Ambien the way a toddler fights an afternoon nap. You know how they whine and vibrate in place until all of the sudden you find them sound asleep leaning against a wall or draped over a kitchen chair… (I have photos of my children doing this) of course when they were toddlers. Not now, because that would be ridiculous.
   This is really a stream of consciousness blog piece, which considering the material we are working with----i.e. my consciousness---is a very scary thing.
   So my friend Kimmy mailed me a confectionery goodie plate all the way from Portland! It was truly like something out of a confectioner’s Shoppe (notice how I spelled that? Huh?) And she packed it like a pro…with an ice-pack and everything! Of course she has a hubcap business ---she is the hubcap QUEEN beyond compare---so she packs a mean shipping box!!! But this was sooooooooooooooooo much better than a hubcap!!! Truffles and fudge and toffee and thingies and stuff Veruca Salt would have a fit over!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA! It’s all mine!!!!  Seriously I saved out a bit and froze the rest. I was gonna take plates around, but what with the Square-9 and all…I totally lost track of time.
So the fam can come around and pick out a little sumpin-sumpin on New Year’s Eve….
   Well, any hoodle we are coming up on the new year’s festivities people, so I may as well include that too!!! I think the Mayans or Aztecs or whoever were just messing with everybody….fear not! And if the end is near…Consider me your sandwich-board carrying, bell-ringer…get ready folks, JOHN 3:16…. Either way it is ALL good!  
Happy New Year 2012 ♫…
   Do you want a peaceful new year? Follow these guidelines;
*Avoid talking politics at all times.
*Pay no attention to who becomes the next president, it will make no difference.
*Do not read headlines…especially now that it has all become tabloid. For instance from the headlines; I knew what Lady GaGa was up to and who was tazering whom over electronics deals in Christmas lines, but I did not know that Kim Jong II, the despot of North Korea was dead for five days!
*When in traffic assume that EVERYONE is either out to get you, or is completely unaware that you exist and so is ready to merge straight through your vehicle as though you were in a parallel dimension---possibly the Square-9 zone---
*As tax time approaches try to pretend it is all Monopoly money and laugh merrily as the IRS flings the orange cards at you. Remember those? They were never good! Like; pay a $10.00 ugly tax or something…
* Finally remember that it is not necessarily a bad thing to take your sleep-aid too early if you can appreciate the ebbs and flows, AND always put a cushion on a hard chair that you plan to sit on for three days. Happy New Year Everybody!!! Tonya Willman
©2011
   

   

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Eww! Tis The Season NOT To Share!


So as I am writing this, my little grandson Kyle has the stomach flu, or food poisoning, or too much holiday crud or the nasty gak or whatever it is. I feel so badly for him, poor little guy. I also feel so bad for my son Dennis who has full ‘puke patrol’ duties. I would come and help….really I would. I have not been asked to yet, but I would.
 I am planning my Howard Hughes sick room uniform as I write. I don’t have a sterile surgical gown, but I do have painter’s masks and a box of disposable gloves. Why the gloves, you ask? There are many excellent and perfectly normal reasons. For one; I don’t touch raw meat, so there! Do you KNOW how many germs that nasty crap has? *Sigh, I love my gloves, and trust me I will use them if needs be!!!! I am there for you boys!
But then again, I might only be asked to pick up 7-up and Saltines instead. That is a ‘can-do’ kind of job…Then of course, you never know about all those germs at the store. For instance, who snotted on the baskets? Whose fingers scratched what area before entering their PIN number for their debit card? Who will decide to come up and wetly sneeze all over you in line, or stand next to you in the Kleenex aisle and cough so violently they seem to be hacking up a lung?...What poor harassed mother has had to bring her slick child with her; dragging him up and down the aisles as he weeps piteously through rheumy eyes and sports the “green-elevens”, which his mother is too frazzled and distracted to wipe off. But really you’ll be fine, try not to think about it. Just put it right out of your mind….You’re welcome.
I confess; I use hand sanitizer as though it were magic. And, I truly believe that when I use the little wipes the stores are providing now for the cart handles I am warding off evil spirits. I grab several of them and go at the cart as though I was Leona Helmsley’s char-woman and she was standing over me supervising the job. Oh sure, other’s begin to stare. Some even slowly edge away…
 But I have seen it my friends! Others who have come in behind me and who had never thought to do it, go grab those little wipe thingies, and go at their own carts like a beaver on speed.
 So far I have not been able to get the trend going of keeping a fresh wipe under each hand on the cart as one shops…but trust me when I report that it can be done if you are vigilant enough. Otherwise they tend to slip off and fall to the floor. Well you can’t pick them up after that, for crying out loud!!! So now all you can do is discreetly drag them behind some sort of display with your shoe.
Perhaps I sound a ‘wee’ bit germ-a-phobic to you; perhaps you think my Christmas package is not wrapped too tightly…. Well I don’t care! It is the Christmas count down people! This is where hyper-vigilance pays off! This is where the boy in the bubble had the advantage. This is where we circle the wagons, except not too closely because… well, you just never know.---Tonya Willman
©2011


  

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

12 Days Of Christmas--Disgruntled Housewife-updated!

12 Days Of Christmas---disgruntled House Wife---UPDATED
On the First day of Christmas
The Hubster gave to me:
A beer-fridge; As Seen On TV.

On the second day of Christmas
The Hubster gave to me:
Two rubber gloves, and
A beer-fridge; As Seen On TV.

On the third day of Christmas
The Hubster gave to me:
Three drenched kids
Two rubber gloves, and
A beer-fridge; As Seen On TV.

On the fourth day of Christmas
The Hubster gave to me:
Four brawling nerds
Three drenched kids
Two rubber gloves, and
A beer-fridge; As Seen On TV.

On the fifth day of Christmas
The Hubster gave to me:
Fiiiiiive cold coffees,
Four brawling nerds
Three drenched kids
Two rubber gloves, and
A beer-fridge; As Seen On TV.

On the sixth day of Christmas
The Hubster gave to me:
Six sneezes spraying
Fiiiiiive cold coffees,
Four brawling nerds
Three drenched kids
Two rubber gloves, and
A beer-fridge; As Seen On TV.

On the seventh day of Christmas
The Hubster gave to me:
Seven tips for slimming
Six sneezes spraying
Fiiiiiive cold coffees,
Four brawling nerds
Three drenched kids
Two rubber gloves, and
A beer-fridge; As Seen On TV.

On the eighth day of Christmas
The Hubster gave to me:
 Eight mooks-a-mooching
 Seven tips for slimming
 Six sneezes spraying
 Fiiiiiive cold coffees,
 Four brawling nerds
 Three drenched kids
 Two rubber gloves, and
 A beer-fridge; As Seen On TV.

On the ninth day of Christmas
The Hubster gave to me:
Nine football passes
Eight mooks-a-mooching
Seven tips for slimming
Six sneezes spraying
Fiiiiive cold coffees,
Four brawling nerds
Three drenched kids
Two rubber gloves, and
A beer-fridge; As Seen On TV.

On the tenth day of Christmas
The Hubster gave to me:
Ten Fords-a-leaking
Nine football passes
Eight mooks-a-mooching
Seven tips for slimming
Six sneezes spraying
Fiiiiiive cold coffees,
Four brawling nerds
Three drenched kids
Two rubber gloves, and
A beer-fridge; As Seen On TV.

On the eleventh day of Christmas
The Hubster gave to me:
Eleven loads of laundry
Ten Fords-a-leaking
Nine football passes
Eight mooks-a-mooching
Seven tips for slimming
Six sneezes spraying
Fiiiiive cold coffees,
Four brawling nerds
Three drenched kids
Two rubber gloves, and
A beer-fridge; As Seen On TV.

On the twelfth day of Christmas
The Hubster gave to me:
Twelve Plumbers plumbing
Eleven loads of laundry
Ten Fords-a-leaking
Nine football passes
Eight mooks-a-mooching
Seven tips for slimming
Six sneezes spraying
Fiiiiive cold coffees,
Four brawling nerds
Three drenched kids
Two rubber gloves, and
A beer-fridge; As Seen On TV.

Disclaimer: this festive song in NO way reflects on the writer's own hubby. =)
Tonya Willman ©2011 –updated-

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Dysfunctionally Dynamic


    
Greetings from my remodeled 4 and 20 blog. I know I said I was changing to another blog site, but here I am! ‘Why’ you ask? I knew you would. Because it was too freakin’ hard, that’s why! I tried Tumblr, but they expect you to know stuff, man! I had three people trying to help me; young, computer savvy people! Eventually they all wandered off and abandoned me.  
     One of them even has her own Tumblr blog! But she lives far, far away and was trying to help me by phone. Eventually I feel sure, if she could have reached through the wires, she would have beaten me to death with my own lap top-- and well she should have!
     So I came back to my familiar but dysfunctional relationship with blogspot. I kept working at it and trying; searching multiple templates and the new “Blogger user interface”-- until I longed to pluck my own eyeballs out and shove them in a drawer.
     Here is what I wanted: A multi-page blog site that is NOT all bunched up on one page. The old one was a crowded little page, baby! It took FOREVER to load, and had Waaaay too much going on. I wanted great graphics and to keep all my links and gadgets too.
     Whiner Alert: They took my gadgets! This new template is awesome; it is called “Dynamic”.  I can add as many pages as I want, but I lost my links, gadgets AND my Follower’s Window!---37 people just vanished as though I launched you all into the Bermuda Triangle. Poof! Nor can I post links to several of your great blogs…YET. Oh sure, “Dynamic” is fun and cool and lots roomier, but I WILL get my gadgets back! Oh I will…because I am Dynamic!
    But, stick with me. Explore all the pages, see what you think. Keep checking in, because I will be changing them up a lot, a.) For your amusement….and b.) Because I know how!  So leave me feedback so I will know I didn’t really shoot you into the ether. I think the only feedback place is on the Home page, on the latest post. But then who knows? Tonya Willman
© 2011