So as I am
writing this, my little grandson Kyle has the stomach flu, or food poisoning,
or too much holiday crud or the nasty gak
or whatever it is. I feel so badly for him, poor little guy. I also feel so bad
for my son Dennis who has full ‘puke patrol’ duties. I would come and help….really
I would. I have not been asked to yet, but I would.
I am planning my Howard Hughes sick room uniform as I write. I don’t have a sterile surgical gown, but I do have painter’s masks and a box of disposable gloves. Why the gloves, you ask? There are many excellent and perfectly normal reasons. For one; I don’t touch raw meat, so there! Do you KNOW how many germs that nasty crap has? *Sigh, I love my gloves, and trust me I will use them if needs be!!!! I am there for you boys!
But then again, I might only be asked to pick up 7-up and Saltines instead. That is a ‘can-do’ kind of job…Then of course, you never know about all those germs at the store. For instance, who snotted on the baskets? Whose fingers scratched what area before entering their PIN number for their debit card? Who will decide to come up and wetly sneeze all over you in line, or stand next to you in the Kleenex aisle and cough so violently they seem to be hacking up a lung?...What poor harassed mother has had to bring her slick child with her; dragging him up and down the aisles as he weeps piteously through rheumy eyes and sports the “green-elevens”, which his mother is too frazzled and distracted to wipe off. But really you’ll be fine, try not to think about it. Just put it right out of your mind….You’re welcome.
I confess; I use hand sanitizer as though it were magic. And, I truly believe that when I use the little wipes the stores are providing now for the cart handles I am warding off evil spirits. I grab several of them and go at the cart as though I was Leona Helmsley’s char-woman and she was standing over me supervising the job. Oh sure, other’s begin to stare. Some even slowly edge away…
But I have seen it my friends! Others who have come in behind me and who had never thought to do it, go grab those little wipe thingies, and go at their own carts like a beaver on speed.
So far I have not been able to get the trend going of keeping a fresh wipe under each hand on the cart as one shops…but trust me when I report that it can be done if you are vigilant enough. Otherwise they tend to slip off and fall to the floor. Well you can’t pick them up after that, for crying out loud!!! So now all you can do is discreetly drag them behind some sort of display with your shoe.
Perhaps I sound a ‘wee’ bit germ-a-phobic to you; perhaps you think my Christmas package is not wrapped too tightly…. Well I don’t care! It is the Christmas count down people! This is where hyper-vigilance pays off! This is where the boy in the bubble had the advantage. This is where we circle the wagons, except not too closely because… well, you just never know.---Tonya Willman ©2011
I am planning my Howard Hughes sick room uniform as I write. I don’t have a sterile surgical gown, but I do have painter’s masks and a box of disposable gloves. Why the gloves, you ask? There are many excellent and perfectly normal reasons. For one; I don’t touch raw meat, so there! Do you KNOW how many germs that nasty crap has? *Sigh, I love my gloves, and trust me I will use them if needs be!!!! I am there for you boys!
But then again, I might only be asked to pick up 7-up and Saltines instead. That is a ‘can-do’ kind of job…Then of course, you never know about all those germs at the store. For instance, who snotted on the baskets? Whose fingers scratched what area before entering their PIN number for their debit card? Who will decide to come up and wetly sneeze all over you in line, or stand next to you in the Kleenex aisle and cough so violently they seem to be hacking up a lung?...What poor harassed mother has had to bring her slick child with her; dragging him up and down the aisles as he weeps piteously through rheumy eyes and sports the “green-elevens”, which his mother is too frazzled and distracted to wipe off. But really you’ll be fine, try not to think about it. Just put it right out of your mind….You’re welcome.
I confess; I use hand sanitizer as though it were magic. And, I truly believe that when I use the little wipes the stores are providing now for the cart handles I am warding off evil spirits. I grab several of them and go at the cart as though I was Leona Helmsley’s char-woman and she was standing over me supervising the job. Oh sure, other’s begin to stare. Some even slowly edge away…
But I have seen it my friends! Others who have come in behind me and who had never thought to do it, go grab those little wipe thingies, and go at their own carts like a beaver on speed.
So far I have not been able to get the trend going of keeping a fresh wipe under each hand on the cart as one shops…but trust me when I report that it can be done if you are vigilant enough. Otherwise they tend to slip off and fall to the floor. Well you can’t pick them up after that, for crying out loud!!! So now all you can do is discreetly drag them behind some sort of display with your shoe.
Perhaps I sound a ‘wee’ bit germ-a-phobic to you; perhaps you think my Christmas package is not wrapped too tightly…. Well I don’t care! It is the Christmas count down people! This is where hyper-vigilance pays off! This is where the boy in the bubble had the advantage. This is where we circle the wagons, except not too closely because… well, you just never know.---Tonya Willman ©2011
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