I absolutely believe my family is insane. Doesn’t everyone secretly and sometimes not so secretly believe that? You look at the families around you. And, oh sure you see some incredibly dysfunctional situations. Families so launched that they make the clan in “Deliverance” look like the Osmond's (Whom I think are actually extremely peculiar, and possibly cloned. Note to Marie: get another gig. We know you’ve lost it okay?)
But, we all know those other families. Everyone is doing swell. They are the shiny, happy people. When you talk to the matriarch’s and patriarchs; aka/people your own age, they always tell you about how Robert is now a brain surgeon and of course Dustin, that little rogue, has become head of the CIA. They all seem to be doing great.
Oh sure, everybody may live across the country from each other but they just fly, at will, in to visit one another any old time. How is little Katie doing? Oh she is great! They say. She has married a lawyer who charges $1000.00 per hour and they have two adorable children and get their photos done professionally every three to six months. They all look better than any television commercial family out there and everyone has 100 mega-watt smiles, even the newest baby’s two lone teeth gleam as though professionally whitened.
There are many ways that you can be subjected to all this good news while your family is trying to figure out how to get that oil change and set of tires they’ve had their eye on. Some families will always subject you to the Happy Christmas card photo along with a folksy “family” newsletter about how Jennifer and Todd are now picking out their 5.4 carat rings for the upcoming nuptials. (Registry at Nordstrom’s) So you go to the web site and you realize you would have to take out a small loan for the salt and pepper shakers, but you might be able to pull off purchasing a full place-setting if you sold a kidney.
You can also get all the news that is fit to print on Facebook. Don’t get me wrong. I enjoy Facebook. I drive my family crazy with it. Well, even crazier than they already are! But there is nothing that will grind your self-worth under the heel of humanity more than to find out that the people you always suspected were perfect in high school are jetting off to Paris for a quick family “get-a-way”.
And because everyone will have one of those cell phones that can do everything except launch the space shuttle, they can also take professional photography quality pictures with some sort of “Black-Droid-Berry-Tooth”. So, you get subjected to 5,493 vacation photos that have been shared or tagged every 9.3 minutes. Oh look! There is Rupert and Laura in the Louvre…and somehow they have gotten special permission to fondle the Mona Lisa! Look how fun! Rupert is such a wag. Don’t drop it Rupert! Oh and Laura will write several LOL’s and say isn’t he a stitch! Yes, Laura he sure is!
But you are not bitter. You know that it takes all kinds of families to make up this world. And so what if you occasionally feel trapped like a rat in a maze because you live in a tiny little crack-of-a-town that that has you in an iron grip?
Because what if, just suppose, that behind all of the gloss and shininess they are as crazy as you are? What if they hold on to their children’s accomplishments like the shine on their new Lexus because secretly Jeffery wears a dress or little Ryan has been caught repeatedly in the garage eating the dry dog food straight from the bag along with the King Charles Spaniel, and now that young Cindy is in high school she gets straight F’s, dresses in black and will not eat anything but strawberry Pop-Tarts and sticks of white chalk?
Families work SO hard to look “normal” and “Successful” and the first thing everyone wants to know is how all of yours are doing. Ahhh, your family; you love them. You are completely proud of them. And yet you find yourself hedging ever so slightly. Oh you would never claim that they had just won the Pulitzer Prize. But you want to be shiny too, yet you know you are really not terribly shiny. You are just an average family that actually counts running to the Wal-Mart as an “outing”.
You have three rotten dogs that constantly track crud all over your Pergo floors which you couldn’t wait to get, but now they mock you. Oh sure, you started out buffing out every little spot, but you drove yourself and everyone else in the house completely mad. So now you pay no attention to the Rorschach blots they leave everywhere. And you really only notice them when people drop-in and so you try to look at it all through “their eyes.” But don’t do that. I urge you. You will only want to fling yourself off of something very tall. Also do not think about the constant, incessant clicking of 48 dog toes racing to the lone dropped Dorito, just put it right out of your mind.
So you sit and you take the time to remember that your children can make you laugh until you pee your pants. And your husband works like a dog every day so that he can provide, and come home and share his life with you. You remember that your oldest child is incredibly talented and amazing and has a wit that is sharp as a knife. You remember that your middle child is like gold, precious and lovely and funny and a total pain in your butt. You remember that your youngest is grown, but is still your baby. This one was different and the love and the labor that went into it was all worth is because he shines like a diamond. And then you think about the new additions; the daughter-in-law that is really, truly your friend and the grand children that are wild and woolly and beautiful.
Even as life hits you from every direction, you begin to see that you do too shine. Yes you do, in your own way. And you know that all though you will probably never need plug adapters or a passport, because you are more likely to tour Alpha-Centari than you are to tour Europe; it is okay. No one else has exactly what you have. And what you have is good. It is what you were given from God. It is up to you to do something shiny with it.
And I do not mean shiny like Laura and Rupert’s photos, I mean shiny like the things that stand the test of time and count in the next world. Shining thankfulness for the average craziness all around you, for the love and the tears and the pain and the laughter and all the macaroni and cheese. The shine of gratefulness is the brightest light of all and makes for the happiest people, no matter how unsuccessful or successful the world may deem you. Well, look there----- you are one of the shiny, happy people after all…. Tonya Willman ©2010
But, we all know those other families. Everyone is doing swell. They are the shiny, happy people. When you talk to the matriarch’s and patriarchs; aka/people your own age, they always tell you about how Robert is now a brain surgeon and of course Dustin, that little rogue, has become head of the CIA. They all seem to be doing great.
Oh sure, everybody may live across the country from each other but they just fly, at will, in to visit one another any old time. How is little Katie doing? Oh she is great! They say. She has married a lawyer who charges $1000.00 per hour and they have two adorable children and get their photos done professionally every three to six months. They all look better than any television commercial family out there and everyone has 100 mega-watt smiles, even the newest baby’s two lone teeth gleam as though professionally whitened.
There are many ways that you can be subjected to all this good news while your family is trying to figure out how to get that oil change and set of tires they’ve had their eye on. Some families will always subject you to the Happy Christmas card photo along with a folksy “family” newsletter about how Jennifer and Todd are now picking out their 5.4 carat rings for the upcoming nuptials. (Registry at Nordstrom’s) So you go to the web site and you realize you would have to take out a small loan for the salt and pepper shakers, but you might be able to pull off purchasing a full place-setting if you sold a kidney.
You can also get all the news that is fit to print on Facebook. Don’t get me wrong. I enjoy Facebook. I drive my family crazy with it. Well, even crazier than they already are! But there is nothing that will grind your self-worth under the heel of humanity more than to find out that the people you always suspected were perfect in high school are jetting off to Paris for a quick family “get-a-way”.
And because everyone will have one of those cell phones that can do everything except launch the space shuttle, they can also take professional photography quality pictures with some sort of “Black-Droid-Berry-Tooth”. So, you get subjected to 5,493 vacation photos that have been shared or tagged every 9.3 minutes. Oh look! There is Rupert and Laura in the Louvre…and somehow they have gotten special permission to fondle the Mona Lisa! Look how fun! Rupert is such a wag. Don’t drop it Rupert! Oh and Laura will write several LOL’s and say isn’t he a stitch! Yes, Laura he sure is!
But you are not bitter. You know that it takes all kinds of families to make up this world. And so what if you occasionally feel trapped like a rat in a maze because you live in a tiny little crack-of-a-town that that has you in an iron grip?
Because what if, just suppose, that behind all of the gloss and shininess they are as crazy as you are? What if they hold on to their children’s accomplishments like the shine on their new Lexus because secretly Jeffery wears a dress or little Ryan has been caught repeatedly in the garage eating the dry dog food straight from the bag along with the King Charles Spaniel, and now that young Cindy is in high school she gets straight F’s, dresses in black and will not eat anything but strawberry Pop-Tarts and sticks of white chalk?
Families work SO hard to look “normal” and “Successful” and the first thing everyone wants to know is how all of yours are doing. Ahhh, your family; you love them. You are completely proud of them. And yet you find yourself hedging ever so slightly. Oh you would never claim that they had just won the Pulitzer Prize. But you want to be shiny too, yet you know you are really not terribly shiny. You are just an average family that actually counts running to the Wal-Mart as an “outing”.
You have three rotten dogs that constantly track crud all over your Pergo floors which you couldn’t wait to get, but now they mock you. Oh sure, you started out buffing out every little spot, but you drove yourself and everyone else in the house completely mad. So now you pay no attention to the Rorschach blots they leave everywhere. And you really only notice them when people drop-in and so you try to look at it all through “their eyes.” But don’t do that. I urge you. You will only want to fling yourself off of something very tall. Also do not think about the constant, incessant clicking of 48 dog toes racing to the lone dropped Dorito, just put it right out of your mind.
So you sit and you take the time to remember that your children can make you laugh until you pee your pants. And your husband works like a dog every day so that he can provide, and come home and share his life with you. You remember that your oldest child is incredibly talented and amazing and has a wit that is sharp as a knife. You remember that your middle child is like gold, precious and lovely and funny and a total pain in your butt. You remember that your youngest is grown, but is still your baby. This one was different and the love and the labor that went into it was all worth is because he shines like a diamond. And then you think about the new additions; the daughter-in-law that is really, truly your friend and the grand children that are wild and woolly and beautiful.
Even as life hits you from every direction, you begin to see that you do too shine. Yes you do, in your own way. And you know that all though you will probably never need plug adapters or a passport, because you are more likely to tour Alpha-Centari than you are to tour Europe; it is okay. No one else has exactly what you have. And what you have is good. It is what you were given from God. It is up to you to do something shiny with it.
And I do not mean shiny like Laura and Rupert’s photos, I mean shiny like the things that stand the test of time and count in the next world. Shining thankfulness for the average craziness all around you, for the love and the tears and the pain and the laughter and all the macaroni and cheese. The shine of gratefulness is the brightest light of all and makes for the happiest people, no matter how unsuccessful or successful the world may deem you. Well, look there----- you are one of the shiny, happy people after all…. Tonya Willman ©2010
Perfectly written!
ReplyDeleteThank you Susan. =)
ReplyDeleteTonya, I am just finding this post and crying tears of laughter as well as shaking my head in agreement with your every, profound word! Oh, I enjoy your writing so much! I have never had the pleasure of meeting you or your family, but I know and appreciate a beautiful glow when I see one. Your writing never disappoints me and often is one of the highlights of my day. You continue to bless me every time!
ReplyDeleteRenee, what a great supporter of my musings you are! Thank you for such wonderful words of encourgement. Ah to glow, as the moon weakly reflects the sun, we reflect God's light and grace as best we can...T
ReplyDelete