What is it about a ‘fly-a-way-wild-day’? It is stressful anyway and then one person triggers a thing, and then the next person layers it until you realize it can’t be them, it must be you. But you cannot stop being you unless God changes you. And you cannot get the hamster off of the wheel long enough to sit with Jesus. So you go about like the mad thing you are.
And people are waiting on you…waiting on you to make up your mind already. But paralysis sets in and it is easier to grab a spoonful of Nutella and sit by yourself. So you sit alone staring at Face Book like a giant sloth……Jesus calls to your mind, “Peace, be still” The waves obeyed Him; so why can’t you?
And you feel as though you are being driven around the bend. You cannot connect. You used to connect. What happened to the relationships you have with some folks? Well, you know…… but there is no fixing ‘somethings’. How do people become oil-and-water when one little thing goes wrong? Here we go again, around and around. Whee!
You judge a person for ‘rabbiting’ and always wanting to run away, but then you find yourself feeling the same way, except that you are not a rabbit, cannot and never will be one. You are not a runner, but you wish you were. You make short little sprints that take you to the end of your leash for the day, but there is no full out race across the fields of the world.
You cannot, and will not go back to the days of the frozen rose. But, there is nowhere to find, no place to sit in. Why? One thing said; one stupid conversation of unimaginably ordinary foolishness and you are done for? Really now, come on. But here you are at noon with your P.J.s on; thinking that your bed is like an island, an oasis in the vast sea of Too Much.
And aren’t you just letting all of this control you to avoid the fear; which sits there because the enemy plants it like a weed. Oh yes, you know that ‘Perfect love casts out all fear’ but at this moment it is like knowing mathematical or geographical facts that in no way apply to you.
Chastising yourself for being the idiot you are, or staring numbly into space is apparently the agenda for the day. Wow, you are just swamped, uselessly swamped, swamped and useless. A full day.
Then you say, “Are you kidding me?” And you realize that you are allowing this overwhelm-ed-ness, and it needs to be fought, because, it is a seriously poison dart from the enemy who, of course, always has the dart gun at ready!
So you figure out that you do, in fact, have a wee bit of steel in your soul, and you let the Lord show you just how whiny you are being. And trust me when I say; You ARE being monumentally whiny, and stuck and silly. And then you try oh-so-very-hard to remember what a really wise person told you this week, which is; “No one can make you feel upset or angry without YOUR permission.” Wow…Think on that. Really, ruminate on it! So then you say--in your head of course-- to the one who is pushing your buttons, “Permission denied!” But, now to just get it into your soul, I mean really let it saturate. Because if you want peace (and boy do you ever) then you have to GET this vital truth. And, what you know about yourself is that you are really just a big, fat “negative-emotion” sponge!
You just suck up negativity like you want it or something. BUT that is certainly NOT true, so you then remember what else that wise person said; if you stay filled up with God, His love and whatever is good and true and right and lovely, then you are like a sponge that is already filled up with wonderful warm soapy water. You just can’t hold the Kool-Aid stains of negativity IF you are already saturated with the good stuff.
*Sigh, and of course, you will notice I say YOU, because I am certainly not talking about myself here! Have a nice day!!! Tonya Willman©2011
And people are waiting on you…waiting on you to make up your mind already. But paralysis sets in and it is easier to grab a spoonful of Nutella and sit by yourself. So you sit alone staring at Face Book like a giant sloth……Jesus calls to your mind, “Peace, be still” The waves obeyed Him; so why can’t you?
And you feel as though you are being driven around the bend. You cannot connect. You used to connect. What happened to the relationships you have with some folks? Well, you know…… but there is no fixing ‘somethings’. How do people become oil-and-water when one little thing goes wrong? Here we go again, around and around. Whee!
You judge a person for ‘rabbiting’ and always wanting to run away, but then you find yourself feeling the same way, except that you are not a rabbit, cannot and never will be one. You are not a runner, but you wish you were. You make short little sprints that take you to the end of your leash for the day, but there is no full out race across the fields of the world.
You cannot, and will not go back to the days of the frozen rose. But, there is nowhere to find, no place to sit in. Why? One thing said; one stupid conversation of unimaginably ordinary foolishness and you are done for? Really now, come on. But here you are at noon with your P.J.s on; thinking that your bed is like an island, an oasis in the vast sea of Too Much.
And aren’t you just letting all of this control you to avoid the fear; which sits there because the enemy plants it like a weed. Oh yes, you know that ‘Perfect love casts out all fear’ but at this moment it is like knowing mathematical or geographical facts that in no way apply to you.
Chastising yourself for being the idiot you are, or staring numbly into space is apparently the agenda for the day. Wow, you are just swamped, uselessly swamped, swamped and useless. A full day.
Then you say, “Are you kidding me?” And you realize that you are allowing this overwhelm-ed-ness, and it needs to be fought, because, it is a seriously poison dart from the enemy who, of course, always has the dart gun at ready!
So you figure out that you do, in fact, have a wee bit of steel in your soul, and you let the Lord show you just how whiny you are being. And trust me when I say; You ARE being monumentally whiny, and stuck and silly. And then you try oh-so-very-hard to remember what a really wise person told you this week, which is; “No one can make you feel upset or angry without YOUR permission.” Wow…Think on that. Really, ruminate on it! So then you say--in your head of course-- to the one who is pushing your buttons, “Permission denied!” But, now to just get it into your soul, I mean really let it saturate. Because if you want peace (and boy do you ever) then you have to GET this vital truth. And, what you know about yourself is that you are really just a big, fat “negative-emotion” sponge!
You just suck up negativity like you want it or something. BUT that is certainly NOT true, so you then remember what else that wise person said; if you stay filled up with God, His love and whatever is good and true and right and lovely, then you are like a sponge that is already filled up with wonderful warm soapy water. You just can’t hold the Kool-Aid stains of negativity IF you are already saturated with the good stuff.
*Sigh, and of course, you will notice I say YOU, because I am certainly not talking about myself here! Have a nice day!!! Tonya Willman©2011
Whee - what a relief. I thought I would be hearing sweet wonderful violin music by now. I love it, I learn, I listen, and will try not be so whiny and negative. We try to run, but we cannot run away from ourselves. We cannot blame others, though we try hard to find a reason to do so. We must take charge of our own happiness and not look to others to provide what we perceive as missing. God has given us all we need to be happy - we just have to accept it. Thank you ,,,,,P3F
ReplyDeleteSheesh, I hear myself in your words...but I AM getting better about things...I am trying to be a duck and just let things roll off my back. All peaceful on top of the water and paddling like mad underneath...
ReplyDeleteIt is so important to "see" correctly. The enemy skews our vision so often, but,Sue, I absolutely love what you have said; "We must take charge of our own happiness and not look to others to provide what we perceive as missing" Because it is absolutely true. We are complete in Him. Lilly I am so glad you relate....I am tired of being side-tracked!!! T
ReplyDeleteHow the evil one claps his hands with glee when one of God's own permits any negativity to move in and set up camp. Your friend gave you awesome advise, but true as it is, it is never easy to apply, is it? Just remember whatever you are struggling with, cannot be overturned or turned around in your own strength. He will be faithful to combat the issues for you as you entrust all for Him to work out. Thank God we don't have to figure it all out and have all the answers. I find such freedom in that (when I remember). Consider yourself hugged! Renee'
ReplyDeleteThanks Renee! Love your words, and hold them in my heart, as I do you....T~~~~~
ReplyDelete